Spring has sprung in the PNW!

I have been out of the blog game for a while. Long story short I lost my mojo for it because I didn't think anyone was reading. Had one of those "what's the point?" talks with myself and decided to take a break. Well this morning I decided to throw caution to the wind, so to speak and give it another go. Even if no one ever reads them, my posts are like little time capsules for myself. And if that's not motivation enough, I don't know what is. So to celebrate new beginnings I thought I'd share some Spring snapshots from around the neighborhood. Spokane is really lovely in the Spring and I keep pinching myself that we get to live here! 

Cherry blossoms! 

Cooper and his "lady" friend 

Forsythia!

Georgia and Cooper chillin' in the grass. 

My DIY spring wreath!

Beautiful sunset from our kitchen window. 

Thanks for reading! 

In a funk

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut... a funk... unmotivated... just blah in general. There has been a lot going on lately and I think the stress of it all is starting to catch up to me. My husband and I have been planning a big move up to Spokane, WA  for the last few months and it's getting down to the wire. I mean, is this not gorgeous?

There are tons of reasons we want to move and it will be a really great step for us in many ways. Housing costs are much more reasonable and you get a lot more for your money. We want to have four real seasons. We want our someday-kids to be able to camp out in the backyard in the summer. We want to watch the snow fall on Christmas and maybe make a snowman on the front lawn. We are SUPER excited to get the ball rolling and get up there but the transition, like any big change, is tricky. I've been in the job hunt process and my husband has been applying to school for Physical Therapy. It's just SO hard to put all your eggs into one basket and then not have any control over that basket! I keep telling myself it will all work out, it will all be worth it, and whatever it meant to be will be. But sometimes I need a little more motivational reminder... and for that, of course, I turn to Pinterest. 

OK, I am starting to feel better.... but then I think about the financial stress of a big move and I almost can't breathe. We have been working on the house every weekend trying to fix it up and make updates. New blinds, paint touch ups, kitchen drawer handles (THAT was no small task let me tell you!) and trying to tame our yard. Thankfully as far as the yard is concerned I have a great friend who is VERY knowledgeable about all things plant and has been helping. Seriously could not have made this much progress without her and I will forever be grateful. Sometimes situations in life show you who your true friends are and who are willing to help you and never expect anything in return. Before and after photos coming soon. I'm excited to see it finished. So I try not to worry too much about money because once we move it will all work out. Southern California is not exactly easy as a one income household. 

I've also been "dieting" the last few months. If you've read my previous posts you know how I feel about the word "diet". I strongly dislike it. Strongly. Anyway, the last two months or so I've been following the Dukan diet again and mostly doing well. But it really can get quite dull if you don't keep some variety going with new recipes. I haven't had the time or energy to get creative with my cooking and all I want to do is just go get a donut! Is that so much to ask for??? I tried and failed (miserably) to make spur of the moment fudge for my husband, but that's probably for the best because I would have been too tempted. I believe living a healthy and active life style (call it dieting if you must) is just as much mental as it is physical. It's easy to lose the motivation or lose sight of your goal. It's easy to want to quit. But nothing worth having is ever easy. 

Thanks Pinterest for keepin' it real. And for helping to lift me out of my funk. 

How I finally found the willpower to fit into my skinny jeans

First off, let me just say, I hate the word "diet". It's a miserable word. I mean, the first three letters of the word diet are DIE. And let's face it, most of the time when you are on a "diet" you feel like you might die without just ONE little oreo. But trust me, you can DO THIS and learn how to eat healthy but still enjoy food for the rest of your life. 
My journey in dieting has not been a short one. There is no magic pill or quick fix that will get you "bikini ready" in 3 weeks. What it boils down to is hard work, healthy diet, regular exercise, and finding the willpower to pass up fresh donuts. Trust me, that day is burned into my memory, but I did it. To accomplish this, the most important thing is FINDING WHAT WORKS for YOU. That is probably different than your best friend, your sister, your neighbor, or that celebrity who just dropped 50 lbs like it was nothing. What I found that FINALLY worked for me and became a lifestyle change was the Dukan Diet. 

Let me just say, this "diet" isn't for everyone. In fact, I have had several friends who tried it after seeing my success and could not stick with it. That's where the willpower comes in. It comes down to how motivated you really are deep down, and no one really knows that but YOU. When I first heard about the Dukan diet, I was a little skeptical. Allegedly Kate Middleton and Jennifer Lopez have followed the Dukan diet and I think they're both great examples of being lean and healthy... But they also have personal chefs and personal trainers and personal shoppers that buy them clothes to make them look thinner, etc, etc. I just have me, myself, and I, and I really don't have a ton of money to spend on even organic produce. I know I am not alone in this. 

This diet is pretty simple once you get the hang of the Do's and Don'ts and Cans and Cannot haves. I read the book cover to cover, and while it admittedly was a bit redundant, I really wanted to know what to expect and what I could eat. I won't go into the nitty-gritty details too much but the basis of the diet is low-sugar, low-carb, and low-fat. What you DO get to have is lean protein, vegetables, fat free dairy, and oat bran. Doesn't sound like much but trust me, there are tons of possibilities. You HAVE to get creative with the oat bran. That's the key and what will take care of those bread cravings. I've made muffins, waffles, pancakes, french toast, crackers, and hamburger buns all out of oat bran. And you can also get creative with all of the sugar free substitutions out there. My sugar free chocolate shake is one of my favorites. Easy and delicious. This would also be a great diet for anyone living with diabetes, just FYI. 

It's honestly just an all around healthy way to live. Once you get to your goal and get further into the phases you add in fruit, whole grain bread, and a serving of real cheese every day. You even get to have a free meal once a week. Dr. Dukan calls them celebration meals instead of cheat meals because really you are celebrating the fact that you have reached your goals and now can enjoy a glass of wine or pizza or ice cream or ALL OF THE ABOVE! You can have the things you have been missing without the guilt because you are now comfortable in your skin. For me, the temporary deprivation of the first two phases was COMPLETELY worth it when I just HAD to go shopping for new SMALLER clothes. Nothing beats that feeling! I think that was the thing that kept me going and helped me turn down all the temptations. You have to say no right now, but not forever. You don't have to swear off french fries for the rest of your life. You just need to learn how to indulge in MODERATION. How many times have you heard "Moderation is Key"? But this actually TEACHES you how to live in moderation. You slowly add in "regular" food so that your system can adjust to it and so you learn when to take it easy on the guacamole. 

I'm trying to find a "before" picture to show but there aren't many around. I think we have all gone through the "I don't want my picture to be taken because I feel fat" stage. But I can show you my favorite "after" picture! 

That's me on the right in the gold dress. And yes that is a Drag Queen in the middle. On the left is just Leonor, just another day for that girl. This was taken right after I had lost 40 lbs in 4 months! I felt incredible! I had so much confidence! Felt better about myself than I knew was possible! 

And then.... I started slacking on the maintenance part of the weight loss.... I tried pushing my own boundaries to see what else I could eat without gaining anything back. Wine, bread, candy, and basically anything fried became my BFF. I thought I could somehow "get away with it" but I was very, very wrong. It was a recipe for disaster. Before I knew it I had gained about 20 lbs back of that 40. Still a lot better than where I started 2 years ago, but completely disappointed in myself and just plain uncomfortable. I was still wearing my newer, smaller clothes, but they really didn't fit me well. Stacy and Clinton would not have approved. (Am I the only one who misses What Not To Wear?)

I reached a point where I needed to find that motivation and that willpower again. And not for anyone else but me. I remember what it felt like to be that girl in the gold dress and I am determined to get back to that. About 6 weeks ago I started back up with the Dukan diet and am proud to say that I have knocked about 10 lbs off so far! I now know that I need to be mindful for the rest of my life about what I put into my body. 

But I also know that I can make good choices and enjoy food without it taking over my life. I have learned so many lessons and learned so much about myself throughout this Dukan journey and I know it will continue from here. 

Weight loss is just as much of a MENTAL struggle as it is a PHYSICAL one. 

What do you hold onto for your motivation? How do you find the willpower when you need it most? 

That time I got a concussion

So there I was minding my own business taking this guy to the vet. 

He'd been acting funny for a few days and walking kind of drunk (turns out he hurt his back and he's fine now). Anyway, I was in the vet's office during the exam and kind of crouching down while the vet checked him out. They were testing his spine and neck and things like that. If any of you have ever had an unexplained "something wrong" with one of your fur babies, I'm sure you can understand the frustration. You know something is wrong, you have no idea what's causing it or how to fix it, and possibly the most frustrating is they can't tell you what's wrong or what hurts. 

Anyway, back to the story, I was crouching down with the vet and then she asked me to pick him up and put him on the table so she could do some more tests. I stood up and the vet stepped out of the room to get something. I started feeling dizzy and sort of blacking out. I thought "I should sit down.... but I can't because he's up on the table and he will jump down and hurt himself..... as soon as the doctor comes back I'll tell her I need to sit down" Next thing I knew I was flat on my back with the vet trying to wake me up. It took me a good minute to figure out who the heck she was and where I was and how the heck I got on the floor. I started to come to and they were all pretty panicked. They asked if I wanted to call someone and shoved my phone in my hand. I could barely catch my breath so I just texted my husband who was in class. I think my words literally were "I fell down. Passed out." He was naturally quite confused but that was the best I could do. He rushed out of class to come to the vet to finish the appointment. Cooper still needed a blood test and x-rays and I didn't want all of this nonsense to be for nothing! 

One of the vet techs was already on 911 and the ambulance was on the way. At first I said "No I don't want an ambulance" because really, how embarrassing? What am I, an 80 year old woman who fainted? Come on, just give me a minute and I'll be fine. But the room just would NOT stop spinning and it turns out I hit my head on the floor in the fall. So I agreed to let the ambulance come. What's the point of having health insurance if you don't use it right? I'll skip the gory details, but they loaded me onto the gurney and quickly inserted an IV into my arm. I am not a fan of needles or blood. I tend to get light headed when I see blood, you can imagine the irony. 

So off to the emergency room I went. It seemed like a non stop influx of paramedics, nurses, doctors, and registration people. I have to say, they were all very efficient. Every one had their specific duty and each carried it out so the next person could get to their part. It was like a well rehearsed play. The doctor was the director, making occasional appearances to check on how things were going. The nurse (mine was named Elton, like Elton John he said) was like the production assistant who really did all the work, even though the director got all the credit. The paramedics were the set directors, moving things around and doing the heavy lifting. Then followed a series of supporting rolls... one nurse who took my blood, one who helped me into my costume hospital gown, one who took me to the bathroom and back. The CT scan was the big dramatic second act. They had to check for brain bleeding, which thankfully was negative. So I guess that made me the lead actress. It's weird for me to be the center of attention, but I guess when life tells you to take it easy and slow down a little, you have to listen right? The final diagnosis was a concussion and I was not supposed to read, drive, or engage in contact sports for several days. There goes my football career. And there went my blog for about a week. See my ET finger?

It was a pretty frightening experience overall. I have never broken a bone or even had a bloody nose, so needless to say a concussion was a whole new world for me. My husband was super worried, although he didn't show it until later, poor guy. My dog was even worried, he refused to leave my side even after all the doors were open and the could have escaped (he hates the vet). And all because essentially, I stood up too fast. It was the combination of crouching down for a few minutes and then standing up which caused a "quick drop in blood pressure" and caused me to black out. Guess it's a good thing I had gotten my hair done that morning so at least I had good hair while I was at the hospital. There has to be a silver lining right? This was taken mere hours before the "incident".

I guess if nothing else it made me appreciate my good health and I learned to be more careful! 

Bitten off more than I can chew?

I really have no clue what I am getting myself into. That sentence is probably grammatically incorrect and someone with nothing better to do might just point that out to me. So be it. My goal with this blog is just to document my journey through life. As silly as that sounds, I just want a place to share my thoughts, experiences, and adventures both good and bad. I am sure there will be some growing pains and some missteps (does this thing have spell check?). But I'm hoping that by putting my thoughts out into the world I might be able to .... I'm not even sure what?!? Maybe I''ll make someone laugh. Maybe I'll be forced to push myself outside of my comfort zone even further in my quest to try new things. Maybe I'll have something to look back on when I'm old and grey and can't remember any of this. Or maybe, just maybe I'll inspire someone to be brave and put their thoughts out into the big, bad world too. It's kind of like group therapy from the safety of your keyboard. Oh hey, I just found the spell check button. Baby steps.